Archive: September 2004

Whether you’ve felt love or not, please read:
I laced up my new Nike Shox on my feet in my driveway. Motorola cell phone in my left hand and my little no name brand MP3 player in the other. My Hollister nude beach member sleeveless shirt was resting on my shoulders over my body and my waist was held on by a pair of yellow and black Nike running shorts that don’t even belong to me. I looked down at the edge of the drive way the sun was beautiful and everything was still in green. I looked at the clock on my perfectly set phone and read 5:42pm. So picked my head back up and started to walk towards the sidewalk.

I started with a nice paced jog down the end of my street followed up and down the hills of my neighborhood. I was following Springview Avenue and made a turn onto Wyngate, still continuing my slow jog. A girl, a cute girl turned off of another street from a different direction in a regular paced walk. She was only about 10 strides ahead of me, but thats when I slowed down to her pace and just stayed that constant distance behind her. Yes, I did look at her butt, and I looked at her shirt. It read Oakland University and had the Grizzly logo on it. Then my mind grew tangent.

I began to think about the time when I surprised Natalie after class at Oakland. I had driven down from school early in the morning to be with her. I awaited by her car as I seen her makin her way towards me. Her undone hair was moving as she walked and she had her backpack half over her shoulder. I smiled on my face all the way to my heart. I really truely new at that time, I was in love. Of course when she came up she was very surprised and happy at the same time. When she came close and wrapped my arms around her the feeling was so unbelievable you just wish it would never end. Then the suddle taste of her kiss on my half cold lips warmed them up in no time. It was one of those moments you just will never forget. This stranger girl from Oakland continued to walk in front of me and my eyes were a bit watery at the time. I just kept walking. I thought about what it’d be like with another girl, briefly. Looked at the Oakland girl running in front of me. Yes, I did find her very attractive, and I’m sure she could be a very nice girl, but the love and feelings that I hold on so close to my heart makes me think otherwise. So after about a mile the Oakland girl continue her walk but made a turn I wasn’t going to. So I continued on my way south, walking at a faster pace now.

I hit the bike trails just south of 24 mile on dequindre. This is where I began my run. I started slowly and picked up my pace as I started to jog at a decently fast pace. My heart was pounding and the sweat from my forehead dripped down my face and mixed with the tears from my eyes. I had preloaded my MP3 player with 4 CD’s that I knew would make me strong enough to just hold on and go. The Used CD’s first and second and Earshot’s first and second. In that order I was listening to it. The dark screaming and intense vocals of The Used gave me hard motivation as I picked up my speed. My heart was already moving fast and I could feel the pain of not being in shape, but not half the pain I’ve been through the past few days. So I just sucked it up and looked forward as I continued running.

I looked down at the track and seen the 1/4 mile marker on the cement. 1/4 of a mile so far just since I started on the track, about a mile already from my house. So I ran and jogged and walked and ran and jogged and walked. I didn’t want to stop. My heart has been so torn and beaten down lately and I just kept thinking that I was making it stronger with every footstep I took in front of me, both mentally and physically. I’m in love and I’m truely feeling the full affect of it’s hurt. 2 and 3/4 miles on the track just passed and I was onto the 2nd CD of The Used. This CD has been my medicine lately. I’ve been consistently trying to sing the vocals of The Used, hence the reason I’ve lost my voice right now. I passed many people on bikes, rollerblades, and in shoes on the trail. I did notice the sun slowly make its entrance to the end of the sky. It was nearly 5 miles now.

My feet were hurting and my heart and head pounding. There where long periods of time where I didn’t think much at all about Natalie and the love for her, but for those periods of time I did think about her twice as much. By the time I was upto 26 mile and Mound I realize that my aunt and uncle didn’t live that far away. I had set a destination point. I passed many roads including 24 mile, Dequindre, Shelby, 25 mile, Mound, 26 mile, Van Dyke, the expressway, and Jewel. It was much more of a jog than I thought it was and by the time I had hit the expressway the sun was sleeping and the moon lit my way, along with the lights of Meijer and the many other attractions in that area. I just kept running. I didn’t want to stop. I felt strong and unstoppable. My heart was still hurting in more ways than 1 now, but I wasn’t going to stop. I’m still in love, more than I think I’ve ever realized. It was really dark now and my feet were more than just throbbing. I wasn’t going to stop though.

It’s been merely 10 miles now, and I was already onto the 1st Earshot CD. I can barely remember half of the time I was running. Everything was a blur except I just know that I haven’t stopped. I wasn’t to far from my aunt and uncle’s. I came around the corner, I was cold and alone, alone as I’ll ever be when I seen the entrance to their neighborhood. There was light at the end of the tunnel. I knew I could make it, I knew I would meet the destination. I was almost dragging, but I just kept running. I finally made the turn down my aunt and uncle’s street.

A very familar truck past by me, but didn’t pay much attention. I finally made it to their house and my uncle was still outside on his driveway after saying goodbye to my dad. Putting the two together, I had just passed my dad. So I took my sweaty palmed cell phone and speed dialed his. He turned around to pick me up. Awaiting for his arrival I drained two 20oz bottles of fresh ice cold water. My dad picked me up and we began my journey back home. I had a feeling of accomplishment, I smiled a little bit and my dad and I began to talk. What I thought would almost seem to far to run, especially considering I’m not in the greatest of condition, I made it. There was a lot of in between but I made it. And now that I could make it through something like that told me that I could make it through anything. And no matter what I will always love her.

I’m open heart torn…..

And if you could make up
For every single time you lied
I’d probably whisper this
Hello, goodbye
And so it begins again
Harder each and every time
I start to reminisce
I never seem to ever find

Someone I can trust
Someone I believe
Someone who will never try
To bring me to my knees
Someday I will find again
Someone just like me
Someone who will take the time
In understanding me

Really busy, new websites, new ideas, and school coming up.

I’ve been busy as always and haven’t gotten around to update in a while. Here’s a quick week point 5 in review. Last Monday I went to B-dubs with PJ and Marv. Watched Monday night football. A short night. Over the past week I was busy working on computers here and there and creating new websites and ideas. This past weekend, Friday, I went to the comedy castle with Mike, Sarah, Emily, Danko, Amanda devilplaygirl, Chris, Natalie, and I. It was great. Comedy Clubs are fun.

Saturday night wasn’t much of anything really, actually to tell you the damn truth I can’t remember a fucking thing I did Saturday night, honestly. I’ve been sitting here thinking and just can’t seem to remember so if you know what I did Saturday let me know. This past Monday night I drove out to Novi to meet up with roommate Jason, and comrads Scott and Ron for some Monday night football action.

Mainly over the past few weeks I’ve been working on a few new projects. First off is finally setup and ready for public browsing. I’m working on a much more cleaner and advanced website, which is scheduled to debut sometime in October or early November. I’ll keep you posted on the status of my website.

Another big project which has been under the covers for quite sometime now is about to make it’s full public debut. I’ve started a new small internet business, for fun. is a variation of many ideas I’ve been working on and I’ve began to construct them in a positive way. I’m not going to say much about the new site or what it exactly is, but stay closely tuned in to see what is to come in the future!!

Anyways thats really all I have to update with. This weekend will be last weekend home before I move back up to the indisputable Kettering University. Friday – Cider Mill. Saturday – Andiamo’s to see Darrell Hammond. Sunday – Project time.

Later bitches.

Football and new project!!

Well nothing to new has been going on lately. Friday night Natalie and I were suppose to go with a group of people to see the movies and somehow ended up being the only ones there. Ahh well, what can ya do, ya know? Anyways football….ahh Michigan….I’d rather not talk about that. Mainly I have one thing that made my weekend awesome.

I spent 3 hours last night and almost 6 more today working a new mod to my computer. It wasn’t exactly the easiest, but the outcome was more than worth it!! Here’s a picture of the final project:

I took a good ol’ PSOne 5″ LCD screen and modified it to work with my computer as 2nd monitor. And since I have the TV Tuner I can use it as a TV. Or Winamp Control. OR Buddy List. Anything is possible. Check out the hard paid work I spent to create this bad boy. It’s eye candy time!!
Click here to see the progress of this beauty!

So I was really really bored today at work as I was the rest of the weekend. Not much went on this past weekend. Went putt putt golfing in Novi at the putting edge. Putt putt in the dark. It was cool.

Anyways labor day was lazy, but good. U of M beet Miami of Ohio. GO Blue!! I’m excited for this season.

Bored today I’ve been talking to Amanda, and I ended up wasting my time to creat one of these…

Check it out…have one? Add me…give ya more to do with the internet.

Later bitches.

Work is Slow…

Today is seriously one of the longest days ever. I just want it to be over so that I can go home. I’ve been talking to Amanda, devilplaygirl, which has definitely made the day speed up a bit. Made her a background for LJ, check it here at this special link. She’s prolly just as bored as I am, actually I’m sure of it.

Last night I finally finished the LOTR trilogy. Yes, as expected, very good. Once to fond of what appeared to be, an epilogue at the end. The last 40mins were really dragged out. It was a phenomenal trilogy though. Good shit. Well this weekend is Labor Day and I have a nice extended weekend. Plans are still up in the air, trying to figure out what is up. I just really wanna relax.

If anyone has one, knows of someone, or knows where I could get a Playstation One LCD Screen. Yes the lil 5″ screens that attach to your PS1 to play the games directly on the console. I really really wanna mod my computer with a custom LCD screen and thats my solution. Please help me with what ever you can do. I’ll make it worth your while, hopefully, nudity?! Maybe? Anyways let me know what you can do, appreciation much.

Umm.. yeah 1.457 hours left til I get the phuck outta here! Maybe do some Pilates when I get home, rent some more movies, watch some. Who knows. I really wanna play a classic board game. When’s the last time you can ever remember play Monopoly, Mousetrap, Life, Scrabble, Clue, and/or Risk? The way they were made to be played, no cheating or half assing. That’d be sweet to do that 2nite or maybe build one of those really big 1000 piece puzzles. Those are always fun too. Just thinking about doing something simple, classic tonight. Maybe bust out the old cassette tapes and listen to the oh so lovely 80’s music, David Bowie, Nena, Billy Idol, Cutting Crew, INXS, U2, Flock of Seagulls, Belinda Carlisle, Blonde, Journey. All the goods!

Ok I’m just rambling on and on…just really wanna kill some time. Amanda knows what the hell I’m talking about. So I’m out There, you’ve wasted useless and non essential time reading this lame and flavorless LJ entry.