Archive: October 2007


This past Saturday night was my Halloween Barnyard Extravaganza. I think, overall, it went really well. Marty and I and few other spent 3 days setting up the tents, lighting, hay and other things. It looked really good and I was happy with the turnout. The temperature touched a low number that definitely got people’s blood pumping. Damn Mother Nature couldn’t help me in that department, eh? Ahh well, after awhile, everyone had drank enough to thin their blood more and warm them up. Does that make sense? I guess my jungle juice was a hit, I just poured a bunch of shit in this witch’s couldrin and called it a drink.

It was really nice to see that everyone made it out, despite the cold. Another successful party. I love it. I had such a great time, as many others would agree. Now I’ve spent yesterday and soon to be today to finish taking everything down, tents and all. I miss it already, it was too short. I’ve already started thinking about the next shindiggy. Probably January or February time, it’ll be an 80’s wedding, essentially. Details are still obscure, I will share when time comes.

So this week is the last week of October, Halloween in 48 hours, and the cold months are ahead. I got into my car this morning and could see my own breath. It’s getting cold and with cold comes snow, yes. Is it bad to be addicted to a sport that last but a 1/4 of the year, if lucky? The thing I’m really looking forward to is that first run, getting on the lift, strap my feet down, and gliding through the snow. The love is snowboarding. Hopefully this year is a good season.

Work’s been, good, busy, but good. My lil Facebook action is taking longer than expected, but I’m really pushing to get it done, it’s killin’ me smalls! Again, you’ll all know.

As for this upcoming weekend, maybe goin to State for the MSU/UofM game, tailgating action and such. Not sure really. I’m open for anything fun, so if there’s something fun, dial the digits, I’m there! Sweet deal, back to scanning through thousands of lines of PHP code, trying to fix dumb bugs. Yay, its fun!…….(pause)…..NOT!


Another Weekend Away

Another weekend has transpired, I’m still sitting here, doing nearly the same thing as always. I really need to figure “it” all out. There is so much that needs to be done, I know this, but it’s going to take time, and effort, a lot of effort.

There are times in my life, especially, times like now, that you just can’t plan, or control. I think I’ve realized this more than ever; that you truly can’t have a complete hold on life. You can only deal with what comes, and make the absolute best moment of it. As much fun as it can be to be single, its madly lonely. I guess I never see myself as a single type of guy. I love having a companion, a best friend, and someone to love. Tonight is one of those nights where I really don’t want to do anything, but lay in bed and talk (and make love) until we fall asleep. Just open conversation up to things beyond imaginable, to dream. No lights, except maybe the semi-luminescence of a digital alarm clock on our faces, just enough light to make out the unique facial characteristics of each other that we both love. To hear each other’s voices and thoughts through our ears to the silent backdrop of a ceiling fan. Under heavy covers, skin touching, smiling, laughing, joking, saying whatever comes to mind. Kissing, feeling lush lips embrace, then pulling apart and doing it all over again, just to feel the lips again, to remind yourself that this isn’t a dream, the physical feelings are real. Just to fall asleep to the breathing and body warmth of another, in a complete relaxed environment, mind, body, and soul. I don’t know when a night like this will come. It could be years for all I know, it’s probably my deepest fantasy right now. I love the commitment, as insane many may see that as?! I think it just a part of me.

Perpetual elapsing moments continue to expire so fast we sometimes forget the simple things that make us content, fulfilled, and loved, what comes and goes makes my mind ponder to distances I never knew existed and dreams in the distance seem impossible to touch, hell to even see, but I sit here day in and day out pushing my heart and soul in everything that makes me who I am, it’s only a matter of time until I find out why I’m here and who’s lives I’ll effect, just to make a small difference in this world would make me complete, imagination continues and this night isn’t getting younger, I sleep with paper, hoping my dreams will ink themselves for future verbs, this I love and this I can’t wait for, anxiety and confusion somehow go hand in hand, love is ridiculously more than four letters, its a way of life…..

You know I was thinking about this early today. As much as people influence actions you do, entertainment preferences and curiousity, it only goes so far. Regardless of how many times people tell you how you should act in a situation, or how you should say things, or what magazine tells you what to do, you can’t always apply it to everyone. It may be the “proper” or “right” way to handle things, but there’s something unique and different in all of us, that regardless how we try to act upon influences, it’s never cookie cutter, we all have something in us that makes how we do things our own. I’ll take advice again and always, but never fight to take that advice exactly. Take it as a consideration, a thought. I know that no matter how hard any of us try to be a certain way, it’s impossible to do that.

We all are our own. Don’t let that get the best of you, because the best of you is who you are. Make the best out of who you are, it’s the best way to live life. I know there are things that I have purposely not done because I thought it’d be better if I didn’t do that, for the sake of whomever I’m in the company of. Why should I? That’s not who I am. So I’m going to just be what I am and who I am. I have nothing to hide.

Just some thinking that has been lingering in my head for the past couple days. Thought I’d try to put it in words, it was a valiant effort. On a more direct, tangible side of things, here was my past weekend:

On Friday I met up with the guys at Snookers for some food and drinks. We later went up to Dave & Buster’s. Liz & I kicked ass in shuffle boards. (It’s her new hidden talent, as she so tells me) On Saturday I was up wickedly bright and early at my cousin Joann & Aaron’s house to help landscape. We had to move 20 yards of dirt, it was ridiculous, but a beautiful day to say the least. After the landscaping I went to Amanda’s Halloween party. It’s been nearly 2 months since I’ve shaved my face, and finally it’s been put to good use. I dressed up as King Leonidas from 300. Went rather well actually. The party was kick ass, had a blistering sweet time. Today was a day with the family, for my grandpa’s birthday. I love my family, seriously.

As for the upcoming future, my Halloween Barnyard Extravaganza is this weekend. It should be a really spooktacular time! I have horseshoe pits, beer pong tables, baggo, food, kegs, spiked punch, music and oh so much more. I’m excited for it!

This upcoming week of work is going to be really busy. I should be receiving my prototype for my new Facebook application. I hope to put the finishing touches on it and have it ready for release this Friday. I’ll message all of you on Facebook about it, so you can check out what I’ve been working on over the past month. I’m praying this thing works.

I should be doing some exciting things with, but no details yet, still working on making the arrangements. Just keep in tune with the site for updates. 🙂

It is time for me to join the sun in slumber, I leave with this quote:
“Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence”

What the #$*! Do We (K)now!?

I had the privilege to watch a very enlightening and interesting film last night that definitely makes me think.

Do I really need to think anymore than I already do?

The film I watched is called What the #$*! Do We (K)now!?

Here’s the IMDB synopsis: It is a radical departure from convention. It demands a freedom of view and greatness of thought so far unknown, indeed, not even dreamed of since Copernicus. It’s a documentary. It’s a story. It’s mind-blowing special effects. This film plunges you into a world where quantum uncertainty is demonstrated – where neurological processes, and perceptual shifts are engaged and lived by its protagonist – where everything is alive, and reality is changed by every thought.

For anyone ever asking questions like why we’re here, what is reality, and why we do what we do, I definitely recommend the film.

It really just opened a whole new world of thought. It’s funny because about 2 weeks ago I read a book on quantum theory and for the most part I understood a solid amount of the material. After watching this film I was able to pull together some key concepts that gave me that “Ahhh ha!” feeling inside. I love that feeling. (You know when you smile inside so much it causes the muscles in your face to tighten, physically showing that smile on your face, then you kinda laugh for a half second, and forget that your smiling, so much your face is uncontrollably smiling at this point, so you sigh and continue on that thought process, that kind of feeling)

Apart from the ordinary, I happened to catch an episode of this show called The Hills. Honestly, I really didn’t have a clue what was going on; Brody kissed Lauren in Vegas? She’s all confused on some other guy (forgot name?). There’s this other chick name Audrina who’s involved with a guy, again no name. I think I missed like 2.5 seasons, so I guess that what explain a lot. Maybe I’ll put that Blockbuster Total Access account to good use 😉

I also happen to have a rather lengthy conversation with a very cool someone who just happens to have a ridiculous number of things in common. It was actually quite refreshing! From cooking to zodiac to sports to music to snowboarding…wow! I really enjoyed the conversation we had last night, definitely going to continue that one!

As for now, I’m here at work. I talked to my programmers this morning and we’ve established an absolute deadline by this Sunday for a project I started about 1 month ago. I hope to add the finishing touches and text descriptions to the system next week; create graphics and such for the GUI to enlighten the application and I do hope to have a public release by next Friday (the 26th). I’ve already started outlining my next project, which, I think will be much more simpler, but just as productive and addictive. I’ll probably start the requirements documents this week.

Ok, back to what I was doing previously, just wanted to take a minute an update.



It’s 11pm, I’m sitting alone on my couch, watching an acoustic DVD of Emery and 2007 seems like already yesterday. I’m not getting any younger and it’s more apparent every expiring day.

2007 is definitely a year in my life that will never be forgotten, a year that has definitely taken change to my life. It’s weird to think what I felt just 6 months ago is nothing like I do now. To think the last journal entry I wrote (it’s hidden) poured out so much emotion, thought and realization. The turn of events that happened after that journal entry literally took every word written and is now but words, nothing more. At the time written, it was the only thing I felt, they were what I meant, words like “forever”, “one”, “love”, “happiness”, were so explicitly detailed that reading those words now shows what I’m capable of, and what I lack. It’s been a quarter of a year now since I’ve said 1 word to Natalie, and frankly I don’t plan on saying 1 more. She’s nothing, but a girl. I loved her, I did, but through everything, there is no way I would ever waste my life to be with her again. Harsh, I know, but I’m too good for it. In the past 3 months or so I’ve learned/experienced so much in my life, life lessons that I can’t wait to take with me for my future and one day share with my kids. It’s amazing to even say that this is 2007, because it all seems like so long ago, but its still here, in the present.

They say “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” and I’m not dead yet, so take the hint.

I do have to thank many friends and family for sticking by my side through the low times. I’m so extremely grateful and thankful to have friends and family like you, I love all of you, I do. Besides the beard, I can honestly same I’m a new guy. Like I said before, the vivid details of each second are soon to be forgotten, but I haven’t forgotten the details, the memories. I love the new memories, the new life of mine and the future which is to be the memories to come.

That two piece puzzle I wanted to complete will be put on hold for now, I finally see why the puzzle never was completed, it was the wrong DAMN piece! 🙂 It’s all good though, I’ll find that other piece someday, it’s out there, she’s out there. I just got to get use to cooking meals for one. The last couple dinners I made was definitely too much for me. 😉

Work has kept me busy lately, I like it. I recently spent sometime in San Jose, California for a Facebook conference which definitely enlightened me. I’ve been working diligently on a couple new projects that I’m super pumped to release to the public. (Hopefully at week’s end)

The summer of 2007 is a memory of the past and this winter is looking to be a good one. I seriously can’t wait to strap on my snowboard and hit the slopes. It’s an addiction that I’m so anxious, and I know the next couple months will vacate and the snow will be here.

I know I’ve said this too many times before in my entries, but I honestly do want to write more often in this thing. This is technically my 3rd entry in 2007, and out of the 6 years I’ve been writing in it, 2007 is definitely more important in my life. And busy, hence the reason for not writing as much.

As for now I’m going to keep enjoying life and everything God has given me. Sometimes I question why He puts me through situations, but He’s only looking out for me, He’s just steering me away from danger. I never did give that man up there thanks, thank you. Music is a savior and I know I couldn’t get through my life with out it, music is effin awesome!

So, for the future, I’m having a Halloween Barnyard Extravaganza on October 27th. If you’re looking for something to do for Halloween and still don’t have anything, just get a hold of me and I’ll give you the details. It’s going to be monumental!